Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
15/5 - Write about advice.
I crave it. I sponge it. I absorb it from anywhere I can. Of course I understand there is bad and good advice, superficial and profound, to be followed or ignored. Still, I’ll hear it out first and then appraise it. I will never not want to be advised (save perhaps when it’s unsolicited—I love advice so much I’ll ask for it when needed, don’t worry).
I’m always willing to learn.
16/5 - Write about a birthday and how you can celebrate that person.
A great friend’s birthday is tomorrow and I’m sending them food and we are distance-watching Netflix together. It’s bittersweet; we miss each other a lot, but spirits are high and I hope they have a nice day.
17/5 - Write about a time you slept outside.
I’ve spent the night on the street twice. For concert tickets.
Should I be embarrassed? Think it was pathetic?
Truth is, it was fun! It’s not something I would ever do now, but at the time it was an adventure, one I went on with some of the best people I know. We made fabulous memories, and we did get good concert tickets. Moments of well-squandered adolescence, I’d call them.
18/5 - Write a letter to yourself one year ago.
There are so many words going back and forth between us. I wonder if I’ve disappointed you by changing paths and gears—I don’t think so, no. You worked so hard and you’ve made it. Now I’m enjoying our break. You struggled so much to be softer on yourself and accept how great and imperfect and enthusiastic you are. I know you don't think this but I am now in a position to tell you, you are capable and smart and kinder everyday. You have and can handle anything.
Once again, thank you.
19/5 -What’s something you’ve been working on for years? Or have been meaning to do for years?
Share my writing! Especially my fiction writing. As a teen I used to write a lot of fanfiction (some of it actually good!) which I uploaded all the time to many public platforms. Eventually I moved on to original stuff… and then I hit a roadblock. It felt too personal, too vulnerable, and I became paralyzed by the mere idea of someone reading me. When college got too intense, I all but stopped writing outside of what was required. Now I’m back to writing and it feels like both something I’ve been innerly working on and towards for years. It is time.
20/5 - How has the mood changed in the past two weeks?
I went from finally grasping my routine and feeling calm in isolation to complete franticness—getting into my masters, buying a piano, temporarily moving with my dad so I could practice everyday and then getting into that routine… it was all too much and my brain went into overdrive. Insomnia followed by manic adrenaline followed by ugly crashes. Eventually, I began settling down. Yesterday I slept nine hours! And woke up actually feeling refreshed! So yeah, these two weeks have been a bit insane and it definitely took a toll on my system, but it’s all dandier now.
21/5 - What’s one thing you’ve just recently found out about yourself?
I am actually really good at studying!
For people outside my brain this might not be news. Growing up, however, I was constantly scolded for getting distracted, working on too many things at once, talking in class, etc. Although I alway got good grades, people kept telling me that I would no longer be able to sustain that rhythm when subjects got more complex. In a way, of course, they were right—but isn’t that part of learning? Figuring out what works for you and your unique but also common brain? Absolutely! At the time, however, I developed a huge impostor syndrome that lasts until these days. As it’s been slowly fading and I’ve gained a broader picture of my own actions, I realize how organized and driven I can actually be. That my achievements are not exclusively due to external luck: I have worked for them.
22/5 - Write down 5 things you see right now. 5 things you hear. 5 things you feel. 5 things you know.
I see my laptop. My comfy blanket. F.R.I.E.N.D.S in the background. Baby my piano. The hallway into my temporary room.
I hear Joey talking. My dad chewing and chuckling and asking questions. The tenuous ghost of Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 14 in my muscle memory. The keyboards tic-tacking. The remnants of Elgar’s Cello Concerto in E Minor, which I was just enjoying for the first time earlier.
Sweet exhaustion. Cozy blanket. Some creeping sleepiness. Happiness. Sweet tooth cravings.
My dad loves me so much. F.R.I.E.N.D.S never gets old even if it has a little bit. I will learn to play better, in fact I have already. Our personalities are just our brains, so I might as well rejoice in who I am. I have been making the most out of every single day.
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